How did James Patterson always know he wanted to be an author? Or Hans Zimmer who always was into music? Reading these successful folks’ profiles surely makes you think! I haven’t read deeply, but from skimming basic info, I come to feel these people had full support in whatever they wanted to do as kids. Maybe Patterson had an amazing imagination as a kid and his parents supported and encouraged his activities related to that. I come to find out that he had a degree in English and worked in an advertising agency before he began writing (he began writing after he retired).
I mean my parents would have never let me study advertising let alone support me in writing. They were the kind of folks who wanted the “sure thing”. They liked security and wanted me to be practical no matter what dreams I have. I had to enter the sciences as a result because of that and I regret it till today because I’m not doing anything in that field. I’m passionate towards music and writing as a result of which I’m now studying music and writing on the side. Studying sciences makes me just regret I lost 4 years of my precious youth and time which I can never make up for.
Of course, everyone’s life experiences are different and I’m not blaming anyone for not guiding me properly. People tend to guide you based on what they’ve experienced in life. If they didn’t accomplish something, then they want their kids to fulfill it for them. So you see its not your dream they’re supporting…its their own dream that they were unable to fulfill at one point. Their push could be for a number of reasons/fears:
- Fear of financial insecurity
- Job assurance
- Their own dreams being unfulfilled
- Ethics/social morals
- (And more reasons that I cannot think of right now)
Its every parent’s job to show their kids the right way and the availability of resources. This is why kids go to school, but their imagination is taken away. We study from K-12 and then college is the right way to go after that. Taking a year off to contemplate, or to focus on a passion could be viewed as “abnormal” because parents don’t know how to explain it to their close network of friends when everyone shares information about what their kids are up to. They want a clear answer and so, can’t afford to leave any ambiguities.
Is this fair? I mean to this date my family members who were unsuccessful in acquiring their dream jobs as young adults are regretting it. Do you see what I’m trying to say here? Just because a kid goes to medical school to fulfill his parents’ regret of not being able to go doesn’t mean that the void in the parent is filled. Its just going to cause greater misery because the kid won’t be a good, kind doctor. He’d hate his job and do it just for money. He’d try to avoid patient contact as much as he can and find a position that would satisfy his ideal money goals.
So lets go back to how James Patterson and Hans Zimmer focus on their dreams? They’ve always been doing what they love and luck came their way. Why can’t we do the same? The problem sometimes is that we expect approval from our close people with whom we share our day-to-day things. We keep them updated with our lives and expect them to support us. People who weren’t able to fulfill their own dreams will never support you. I have realized that from my own experience. When I was doing my science degree I was considered normal…when I went through a mental turmoil in battling against my family’s wishes to pursue music………..no one even cares to ask me how my day in music school went.